Closure

I'm embarrassed. But I'm also very much against the practise of deleting posts upon realising that someone gives a shit... .___.' Seen it happen so many times, and it sort of ruins the whole point of being honest -- this blog is still for me, so there's that! No apologies.

Anyway, even after my outlet here and I went to school the day after, I felt like shit. Vulnerability, regret, confusion; basically all the good stuff that Mondays are made of. Whilst talking to F during our lunch break we were just chatting, then we talked about weekends and I just said I had a weird weekend. She looked me in the eye and asked me how was it weird, and I figured oh what the hell, she's my best gal pal and I'm gonna use her. And then along with my weekend, somehow everything else that's been going on since the beginning of last year just spilled out. Everything related to my eating habits, mind. I was happy to find that I can actually talk to her about this stuff... even if it gets terribly disorderly because I can't put things together in my head. She tried to question and reason with me, and I could tell she was thinking something along the lines of an ed, but I think I did pretty well considering. I don't want to be underweight, and I don't aim to get below 47 kg because frankly that thought is terrifying. All that matters is proportion.

And being comfortable.

I'm doing my homework... doing the the best I can anyway. I forgot how nice it is to be preoccupied like this. And I'm letting Safetysuit back in, now that she is once again incapeable of making up her mind. I guess I'll see what I can do -- again. Clicketh.