Day 02

An image of yourself and the person you've been closest with for the longest time.

Day 01

An image of yourself and 15 facts about yourself.

 

My name's Christina.

I'm 17 years old.

I'm a gemini.

My parents split when I was four.

I'm a writer.

I prefer silver over gold.

I had an emo phase.

I want paintings on my walls, not posters.

I'm a natural redhead.

My favourite ice cream flavour is coconut sorbet.

I use British English spelling.

I keep budgies.

I constantly look up stuff on the internet.

My childhood ended with the last Harry Potter movie.

 I have been in love.

100 pictures

There's this thing going around on Facebook, where you publish a picture every day for a hundred days. I kind of want to do it, but I don't feel like taking up space on other people's front pages along with everyone else who's also doing the thingy. So I figure I'll just do it here, and at least make sure that the blog doesn't get too dusty. Posting something on a daily basis is gonna be an interesting challenge.

I'm having trouble sleeping :(

And I miss the moon...

Sadness

B-A made it clear that she doesn't think we should get together again, not now or anytime in the future... and I think something must've been twisted inside of me. I seriously haven't cried that hard since D left for Sweden. I braced myself for it, frankly I was sure it would come to that at some point. And I try to tell myself that if she couldn't even step up for herself, then she wasn't really a good option for me in the first place. But it just doesn't mesh. And I'm sad that it won't... I hope she's happy anyway.

Haven't seen A at all... but I'd love to before school starts. I've kind of started to miss him, and he's just so hard to get a hold of. Rarely seems to be getting my messages. He's not replying anyway. Guess it doesn't matter. Except... well I know he's probably sad about breaking up with F (or whatever they call it), but... I'd really like to see him. I'm afraid I won't be able to tell him about B-A without tearing up, that's what I'm doing right now just thinking about her. I probably won't bring it up unless he asks, and I don't think he will with everything else that's been going on in his life lately.

I didn't eat until around 1 pm today. I weighed 47, 8 kilograms when I woke up around 10 o'clock, and by 1 pm I weighed 47,1. I was fine just drinking water, really, but when I returned some books at the library, I grew hungry, so I bought 15 cherries (turned out to be too many, next time I'll take 10). And I ate one rusk. We had salmon for dinner, it was okay. I think I've gotten too used to my dad being kind of a gourmet because I just get a little disappointed when it's not as good as he makes it. And I kind of feel bad about it, though it's no secret that my dad makes a bigger deal out of the cooking than mom.

I'll be going to my grandmother's tomorrow, and I'm staying with her until friday. Food shouldn't be a problem, she's a diabetic so... I'll have whatever she's having haha. I'm a terrible person.

Out, home, and done

Hello! I got back from Alsace, I know it's a little belated, but I'm blogging now. Didn't get as much tanning done as I wanted, but that's partially my own fault... And I have to say... IT WAS A STRUGGLE. It was wonderful, beautiful, and all positive kinds of 'ful', but the fact that I had to eat three meals a day... counting starters, entres, and dessert, it was just horrible. The food was spectacular, but I felt horrible. Especially after dinner, cause we went to sleep right after since the whole thing lasted until about ten or eleven o'clock. Yeah, it was tough. By the end of the week I lost the ability to pull in my stomach -- that scared the shit out of me. And I just stopped feeling hungry, cause I had food in my system constantly.

And I got so confuuused... because at first I just ate everything at dinner. All of it, cleaned the plates. And I finished sooner than everybody else, because we eat quickly at home. Then dad started talking bullshit about me not eating my salads. Which I totally did, as opposed to all the other kids who couldn't finish their dishes. But then C was like "wauw, you ate it all so quickly!" and I felt like... I dunno, not a pig, but out of place. As I've gotten older, I really try to finish my plates now, because I was so picky as a child... and to get rid of that impression my dad has of me, because I DO eat my salads, dammit.

I tried to find a middle ground. When we were out eating lunch, I practised eating slowly, and taking little bites. Drank a lot, talked a lot, and eventually C finished before me. Felt really good, in every way. I know it's healthy to eat slowly, so I think I'll try to continue doing that. And I started leaving a little bit on the plates at dinner. All better. Still too much food. C agreed with me, she just threw up because her stomach wasn't used to it. I say it's bullshit, because she used to eat just fine a few months ago. Only difference is she's on a diet. I'm not sure what I'm thinking.

I found out that I love scrambled eggs on crispbread.

And that things served cold that ought to be hot disgust me. Some of the starters were tough.

Now, I'm trying to get back in balance, to regain the ability to pull in my stomach and feel hungry in between meals. I'll suceed within a few days, no doubt.

And tomorrow... my life will possibly lose its meaning. I'll at least have to think of a new one.

I do so look forward to it... and then again... I dread it with every fiber of my body. This is my childhood. Maybe it's a sign?

So much fucking time has gone by since then. Ugh, I find it hard to cope with. I'm not gonna dress up and stuff, I'm just going to watch it with my mom, bawl my eyes out, and possibly re-read the books while we're in the summerhouse. Sigh. This is my liiiiiiiife, and it's OVER. Or just complete.

Tim Roth is a 10

Definitely. Age is just a number, Tim and I could make it work haha.

 

I just find him very attractive, and it's not even news... In terms of actors, I generally tend to bestow my love upon men like... twice or thrice my age. With the exception of Heath Ledger, bless his beautiful soul. <3 I'm tentative about Robert Pattinson, still. Johnny Depp, Hugh Jackman, Adrien Brody, Ralph Fiennes, and... Tim Roth. Something about that man just gets me all gooey. You know what, he probably even makes it past Hugh Jackman. I mean he's not got biceps as thick as Elijah Wood's neck, and he's like 1'70 (5'7)... but he's got that British accent and the smirk, and the... weird mannerisms. And a gifted tongue as well, he seems very intelligent and well-spoken from what I gather.

C'mon, tell me he's not one sexy 50-year-old.