Quit zeh binging, yes?

So I'm just going to cut the crap for this one. A few days ago I stepped on the scale and it read 50,1 kg. I haven't seen that number for half a year. And I thought: stay calm.

I panicked.

Then I thought: just go easy on the food.

I snacked like there was no mañana. Had to pinch myself a couple of times there.

And finally: just drink your tea, and it'll be okay.

I have been drinking tea and water for two days, minus dinner and a few fries. When things go bad, you only eat to prove you eat. And last night I was down to 48,5 kg. Still not quite there, but I definitely feel relieved. It's so retarded how things have changed. 1 ½ years ago I'd feel horrible if I was above 52 kg. Now two kilos less makes me anxious. Goals have changed some, haven't they? I'll just have to try not to eat so much junk. Starting... now! (I had cookies this morning, since M brought them to class -- it's her birthday).

Also, mom and I have started going to the fitness centre. In fact we're going today. It's a wonderful way to spend an hour -- we're both drained by then. So I'm a slacker bitch, so what... I talked with a private coach, who's going to make me a training program based on my needs. That's pretty cool. Maybe my knees will finally get better then. And my back. And maybe I'll get rid of my floppy upper arms, and get a decent gap between my thighs. It's uneven, and it's stupid.