Worried yet again

Yes. I'm back. And I've set the mood with some music, hope ya dig.

Tomorrow I'll be going back to school and it sucks there because people annoy me right now, but oh hell. It's nothing personal, I guess at the moment I'm just... not prepared to be around them. I've spent so much time with my class in Tallinn, and now I feel like I know some of them a little better. Yeah, some more than others, oh ma jizz... I should probably talk to some of them soon and resolve some of the things said and done in my drunken state. Stuff went on that I just... I mean, for instance, this is the second time I've had a heart-to-heart with L, completely shitfaced, and I kind of miss that in my sober friends in general... A just seems to roll with it, either humouring me half-heartedly or just complaining about this and that, asking for my opinion and then ignoring me afterwards. It's confusing.

I don't know if we're drifting apart exactly, I just know I've felt like this before. We still have those moments; instances of "oh my gawd, that's what I was thinking", saying the same thing simultaneously, and replying before any questions could be asked. That's us, but it's different. Sometimes I'll tell him random stuff, ask him things, trying to engage him in conversation. Just trying to get him to talk to me. But then afterwards I realise how the things I said probably weren't of any interest to him at all, let alone relevant..... ugh, and I think about how awkward I am with people.

When we were in Tallinn, C called me a social butterfly. I don't even know. 

Urban Dictionary's opinion on the matter is this:

"Someone who is VERY social and easygoing; can be either a male or a female. Usually these people don’t belong to a particular group, but rather jump from one group to another. They are somewhat accepted in all of them, but don’t really have any deep friendship connections in any of them."

I guess that sounds about right. I should probably focus on what keeps us together for the moment. At least I have an overview.

And it's a good thing I have F to talk to, her and A are so perfectly far apart right now, and it's like I don't have to worry about anything when I'm with her.